Sister Yudith Asih Budhiyanti offers counseling to a young pregnant woman at the Center for Mothers and Children in Semarang. (Photo by Bernard D. Elwin)
"I was in deep despair and didn’t know what to do," says Magda (not her real name), when describing her feelings a year ago when she found out she was pregnant.
At the time she was studying for a degree at a university in Central Java.
She says she cried most of the time and felt the sky was falling down on top of her.
Her boyfriend — another student — did not accept the fact she was pregnant and abandoned her. She wanted to tell her parents but was afraid.
"I felt that was the end of everything," she says. "I thought I had no future."
An attempt to persuade her boyfriend — who she’d known since junior high school — to accept the baby fell on deaf ears.
"He did not want it, even asked me to have an abortion which I couldn’t do," she says.
Plucking up courage, Magda finally told her parents.
Their reaction was to take Magda to the Center for Mothers and Children in Semarang in Central Java, run by the Sisters of Divine Providence.
The congregation, established in 1842 in Germany, began its mission in Indonesia during the Dutch colonial period in 1934.
They now work in the fields of education, health, and other social services such as shelters for unwed mothers.
Magda said her apprehension and fears about the future began to ease when she talked to Sister Yudith Asih Budhiyanti, head of the center, and other counselors.
She said they encouraged her to accept her reality, look towards the future and prepared her for the birth of her child.
She eventually gave birth to a girl in July 2015.
However, she faced the problem of how to survive. Fortunately, the nuns helped her find a job at an education institution where she earns enough money to support herself as a single parent.
"I am now happy with my daughter," she said
Accept the reality
Magda came to the right place, Sister Budhiyanti says.
The center was founded in the 1980s as her congregation’s response to a growing number of young women being abandoned after conceiving.
Currently, there are more than 7 million single mothers in Indonesia, according to government figures.
The center has helped many young women, especially those between 15-20 years of age who have fallen pregnant out of wedlock.
Some are junior and senior high school students, while others are university students.
Most approach the center midway through their pregnancy when it becomes difficult for them to hide their condition from others such as family members or neighbors.
Their stories vary; some are rape victims, but most are abandoned young women.
The main thing is to steer the young women away from rejecting or aborting their child.
The center does not offer a solution to their pregnancy, nor a hiding place, but a place where they can clear their mind, reflect on what they have done and prepare for the birth of their children, Sister Budhiyanti says.
"After giving birth, they have to leave the center and go back into the real world, to their families, hopefully in a frame of mind where they feel they don’t have to hide from society," she said.
Sister Budhiyanti said she continues to motivate young mothers to accept the babies. She also encourages parents to accept their "lost daughters" and their grandchildren.
Back to family
Father Carolus Borromeus Kusmaryanto, a moral theologian and lecturer at Sanata Dharma University in Yogyakarta, said the increasing number of young single mothers is a result of deteriorating values.
Young people want everything instantly, which contributes to lack of self-control among young people, especially when it comes to sex, he said.
"Worse, when they get pregnant, many take the instant solution — abortion."
Those women who do take the termination option face an uncertain future.
However, it is not entirely the fault of young people, he noted.
He pointed to information technology, such as smart phones and the internet, has having separated parents from their children
"Parents are too busy to instil values in their children," he said.
According to Father Kusmaryanto, it is important for the church to strengthen pastoral approaches to families, so children can learn to respect other people and develop values.
Life-saving mission
Sister Yohanita Siti Rahayu of the Sisters of Good Shepherd congregation that manages another center for young women in Wirobrajan, Yogyakarta, said many problems faced by young people, particularly girls are caused by easy access to corrupting influences such as pornography, more open relationships, and drugs.
Every month the center deals with dozens of teenage girls, mostly students coming to the city to study, who having relationship problems.
She says, she tells the girls to face their problems and not look for easy or instant solutions.
"We tell them every problem has its own solution, as long as they respect life given by God," said Sister Rahayu.
We work closely with doctors, psychologists, priests and other institutions to give strength to these girls, she said.
''We help girls cope, by taking care of them."
