PATTAYA, Thailand (UCAN) -- Bishop Vianney Fernando of Kandy, Sri Lanka, admits he is not a psychologist. Even so, he has sketched the profiles of six priests whose behavior reflects a range of psychological problems.
Bishop Fernando, 65, elaborated the lessons to be learned from those profiles in a paper he presented to about 70 bishops during the seminar on "Caring for Priests - Especially For Those with Difficulties."
The event, organized by the Office of Clergy of the Federation of Asian Bishops' Conferences, took place Aug. 27-Sept. 1 at Redemptorist Center in Pattaya, 150 kilometers southeast of Bangkok.
The full text of the paper Bishop Fernando presented on Aug. 29 follows:
My predecessor, the good holy man that he was, could not see the fallacy of this argument, and so he accepted the scholastic into the Diocese and ordained him. My poor predecessor had to pay the price of his mistake. From the word "go" it was disaster as the young Priest could not relate to anyone for a sustained period of time and would "rub" everyone on the wrong side.
"The Priesthood is radically communitarian. Therefore, of special importance is the capacity of the Priest to relate to others. This is totally fundamental for a person who is called to be responsible for a community and to be a man of communion." (PDV: Pope John Paul II, 1992)
My topic for this seminar is "Relational Issues and Problems of Priests Affecting their Pastoral Ministry and Priestly Life."
It is my experience of 24 years, as a Bishop, that a substantial amount of a Bishop's time and energies are expended in ironing out relational problems caused by his Priests - either with the Bishop or among themselves or with the people and not uncommonly with Religious working in the Parish.
I would like to begin my reflection by profiling a few cases of actual relational issues. For obvious reasons the names used are fictitious, none the less, the cases are real and true to life.
Due to these attitudes and perceptions Father Cliff becomes intolerant of the majority of his fellow-Priests. Anyone who does not accept his stance especially on social and ecclesiastical issues is cut off from his life and relationships. Gradually, he becomes isolated. He is very unhappy in his situation of isolation and feels that he can no longer relate to the majority of his fellow priests. He is irritable and it affects his relationship with his flock. His sermons are well prepared but often tend to be critical of authority and people who do not agree with him. An intelligent, committed, methodical, dynamic Priest thus ends up being very unhappy due to his relationships being severely affected with his inflexible attitudes and perceptions.
(This seems to be an instance of someone who has developed well in his formative years intellectually and theologically. However a lack of balance between his emotions and his intellect leaves a deficiency in his human relationships. He lets his emotions dominate his attitudes and behavior. He does not use his intellectual capacities in handling his life and ministry. It is clear that if his relationships improve he could be an asset to any community)
2. Father Jim appears to be a pleasant character. However, his relationship to his fellow-Priests is very superficial. He has his own agenda and is able to camouflage his real self by giving the impression of being affable. But no one seems to be able to fathom his real self. He is busy all the time but does not give priority to his pastoral responsibilities. He is on the move and not necessarily pastorally engaged in his extensive Parish. People find it difficult to meet him as he does not keep appointments. Even for the ordinary pastoral needs, the faithful have to make repeated efforts to reach him.
Father Jim is surprised when these defects are pointed out to him. He claims that he is very systematic in his work. He is very demanding when it comes to the faithful who are predominantly poor and marginalised though he does not apply to himself the stringent discipline he expects from his flock. He does not come through as a loving, caring person when it comes to his pastoral relationships. Upon complaints received, he becomes even more intolerant and tends to retaliate against those who have made the complaints. His reaction is one of being very harsh with them.
Despite repeated appeals and warnings, he goes on antagonising his flock in his pastoral responsibilities.
While this damaging lack of pastoral responsibility seems evident to others, he does not realise his own situation. The oft repeated complaint from the faithful that his sermons are mostly finding fault with them and often laced with hurtful innuendo seems justified. Father Jim could be the bane of any Parish community and the thorn on the side of any Bishop of a Diocese.
(Lack of self-reflection seems to be the root cause of Father Jim's relational problems. It can be noticed that there is a fairly serious deficiency in his pastoral motivation and commitment. These areas have not been dealt with in his formative years. There is nothing worse than having to deal with a priest who does not accept his limitations and as a result unwilling to change. Ultimately the ministry and the faithful suffer).
3. Father Young is a brilliant Priest, a walking encyclopedia. His academic responsibilities are carried out with meticulous care. Father Young has a circle of friends in the Presbyterium who admire him for his scholarly achievements. However, he resents all authority beginning with the Bishop. It is not necessarily the person of the Bishop. He just cannot tolerate anyone in authority. His strong anti-authority stance hampers the effectiveness of his work. His negative attitude in this regard tends to have a damaging influence on younger members of the Presbyterium who admire him for his scholarly knowledge and contribution. Even in his specialised field he does not fully cooperate in any project in which his help is solicited if it originates from those in authority.
(Father Young seems to be a victim of circumstances of his growing years. His anti-authority attitude perhaps has its roots in his experience as a youth with a tyrannical father who has been very harsh with him. Thus he seems deeply wounded psychologically and even though he made giant strides in his intellectual growth his inner wounds have not been dealt with and his human formation has been deficient and has not helped him to overcome this emotional dimension. Thus the effectiveness of his very valuable ministry is gravely hampered by his inability to relate to his superiors in a mature, dispassionate manner).
4. Father Michael is a Priest of average intelligence. Overall he is a fairly good Pastor. He is not very imaginative when it comes to pastoral care of his flock. He is rather slow in venturing out into pastoral initiatives. He fits in well into the "cultic model" of the Priestly ministry. Father Michael is an introvert who does not have many friends in the Presbyterium. He tends to get discouraged easily in the face of failures or challenges. On such occasions he does not hesitate to ask for a change in assignment. But once the crisis passes he asks to defer the transfer, obviously creating problems for the Bishop.
He seems also to have a difficulty in relating to the community of women-Religious in his Parish. Even over a small misunderstanding with regard to a pastoral matter, he does not hesitate to sever all relationships with the Religious who are carrying out a very dedicated apostolate. When he goes to celebrate the Eucharist to the mission station where the Sisters reside, he refuses to share table-fellowship with them, even to the point of refusing to have a cup of tea in the Convent. He makes hasty decisions in forbidding the Sisters to carry out their normal pastoral ministry. Father Michael does not hesitate even to use the pulpit to point out the faults of the Religious. This serious breach of communion between Father Michael and the Religious has a very negative impact on the Parish community. The ordinary faithful are thoroughly scandalised. They lose the sense of confidence in their Pastor. His credibility as a preacher is eroded. It is very hard to repair this kind of damage, as the people could lose their respect for both the Priest and the Religious who are expected to set an example of "communion".
This is a common phenomenon in many Priests who due to some misunderstanding with either the Superior or an individual member of a religious community do not hesitate to ostracise them and cause much scandal to the Parish.
(Once again Father Michael's problems are consistent with emotional immaturity which is damaging relationships and consequently the ministry.Father Michael though quiet has his own mind when it comes to relationships and is unable to see the inconsistencies of his behavior even when these matters are pointed out to him in a reasonable manner. Clearly there is much growth needed in the human dimension of his personality.)
5. Father Charles is a quiet worker who gives the impression of being a "lone ranger". He works hard and is capable of shouldering responsibility. His human relationships, however, leave much to be desired. First of all he has a "suspicious" frame of mind. He finds it hard to trust others. He begins by looking upon everyone who approaches him as someone with whom one has to be cautious.
This over cautious tendency immediately creates a barrier in the relationship. His attitude of mistrust extends even to his domestic workers and as a result they do not remain too long in his service. Even with his brother-Priests, it is a matter of "cautious" dealings in matters official. Thereby he creates a sense of alienation and unwittingly hurts his brother-Priests by his attitude of suspicion and lack of openness.
This attitude is carried over also to his relationship with those in authority. There can be a serious break-down of communication with such persons, as one does not know what exactly goes on in the person's mind. Generally a Priest with such a personality is not open even with the Bishop, while all the time there is evidence that all is not well in the way he relates.
(Once again some lack is seen in the "human growth" of this otherwise good priest. Despite repeated appeals by the bishop to improve his relationships with the priests and the people there seems to be little improvement. Every one else can see the damage that is done by this "suspicious" mentality but the priest concerned does not seem to realise that he has to overcome this behavioral deficiency. As a result the Bishop has to spend much of his energies and valuable time in settling hurts caused by his immature behavior.)
6. Father Philip is a young Priest who has many gifts. He is a good speaker and is blessed with a striking personality. However, in the evaluations of him in his formative years there was always a remark about his being "elusive" and not being open. Not many were able to fathom his real self. He seemed to have had his own personal agenda even in the Seminary.
Although his spirituality was "charismatically inclined" there were allegations of undue familiarity with young girls which did not seem healthy. His Priestly Ordination was delayed in view of these allegations.
Finally, he was ordained and before long Father Philip was in serious trouble, as he had entered into a sexual relationship with a young woman and this ended with grave consequences. On closer investigation it appeared that this relationship had begun when he was still a young seminarian. Despite long years of formation these issues had not been dealt with and the relationship was carried over until it resulted in disaster not long after ordination to the Priesthood. The incompatibility of such relationships with the commitment to celibacy had not dawned on Father Philip.
(When a candidate comes into the seminary, he brings along with himself a great deal of "baggage" of un-dealt emotional wounds that impede his growth and maturity. As most of these are buried deep beneath, human formation should enable the formators to "unearth" these emotional needs and deal with them. An authentic formative spirituality is not possible without proper affective development which includes self-awareness, self-knowledge and self-disclosure. As the Dominican Mystic, Meister Eckhart says: "To get to the core of God at His greatest, one must first get into the core of himself at his best".)
Beyond the brief remarks I have made after each case I do not want to try to micro-analyze these individual cases because I am not a psychologist. The intent of the cases and the remarks are for the purpose of elucidating my theme. The problems that individuals have can be attributed to multiple causes such as temperament, deficiencies of judgement, lack of self-control, experiences in childhood. But all these handicaps could have been greatly reduced if more attention was paid to the emotional development of the person in the years of formation. A common line that runs through all these cases is emotional immaturity and lack of affective formation.
Priests are called upon to be leaders. In order to be effective as leaders, among the tools that are indispensable, are "people skills." Such skills are developed only in a formational environment where due emphasis is given not only to intellectual development but also to emotional development and social development or otherwise called emotional intelligence and social intelligence.
In the recent decades even in the corporate world there has been a radical change in requirements for leadership. Leadership is not domination. It has to do with the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal. The age of the manipulative or the "jungle-fighter boss" is past. The virtuoso in interpersonal skills is the corporate future.
In what follows, I will draw from both ecclesiastical and secular literature to illustrate the new dimensions that have emerged in the search for resolution of relational issues that characterized the problems that priests have in exercising their ministries, similar to those presented in the cases that I have cited above.
It is not about being special or distinguished for privilege. Sacramental character is not a personal claim. It is a particular responsibility of the ordained minister's relationship to Christ and to the community.
Jesus is the central figure in this relationship. Jesus' life and ministry is about adjusting relationships. He is about re-ordaining life at every level - personal, social, economical, political and religious. Relationships are re-ordered in the light of his vision of the community as "Communion" - kingdom of God. Through the Paschal Mystery, the spirit has been given to us to continue this reordering of relationships.
In the person of Christ (in persona Christi) the Priest, therefore, is uniquely involved in the ordering of right relationships. Like Christ, the priest performs this role in relationship to his vision of the community and the reign of God.
The Priest is on Mission; this is not a passive or private engagement in ministry but an active communal engagement with, and under God. The Priest's identity is about being chosen for service in the kingdom of God and of the world.
The Priest operates also at the same time in the person of the Church (in persona ecclesiae). To be in the midst of the community, as well as in front of it demands ongoing pastoral judgement. The Priest stands as a Prism to the community, reflecting back various aspects of their life and truth. He serves the people but not at their whim.
It is an interactive dynamic: He Listens, Responds, Challenges, Supports.
He and the community experience mutuality in growth, holiness, and significance. He is there not to please the people but to order the gifts in view of the mission. As a Priest, he is positioned and designated to do this -This Is Part of the "Ordering" of the Sacrament of Ordination.
Bishops have different personalities, philosophies and theologies. Priests often tend to reduce the relationship with the Bishop to terms of liking or not liking the person. The Bishop's role is to oversee the communion, the people formed in and by the Spirit. Thus the relationship is rooted in the mystery of the Trinitarian Union. This is a profound relationship - the most profound possible in our faith.
The Diocesan Bishop shares the ordering of the charisms with the ordained. The identity of the Priest takes shape in the unique relationship he has with the Bishop of the local Church.
Today, we speak of the "ordination" of a Bishop, not his "consecration." The change in this terminology reflects a major shift in the thinking of the Church. In the past the Bishop was believed to be a "Super-Priest." The distinction between Priest and Bishop was drawn not so much on theological grounds as on formal institutional authority. The role of the Bishop was viewed primarily as one of jurisdiction and power. After Vatican 1I, we speak of the role of the Bishop as "ordained." He is marked to order the charisms (from the word ordinare) in the local Church. He is ordained to be a member of a "College" of other Bishops. He is to oversee the local Church or the Diocese. Like Christ, his task is to create right relationships.
He does this by calling forth the charisms (God-given gifts); He coordinates these charisms, whether they be of the laity, religious or the clergy, for the good of the Community and for the sake of the mission. He has to do this to build up unity among his clergy, in particular, not to create a spirit of competition, but rather one of collaboration. Today more than ever before pastoral leaders have to be imbued with this attitude and desire to see as one of their primary goals the empowering and maintaining the gifts and charisms of all under their leadership, otherwise they could be good doers but not animators.
Even in the matter of clergy assignments, Statnick (1999) correctly states, the Bishop has to keep this uppermost in his mind. Priests often experience assignments as power over them, and not as a way of ordering the charisms for the good of the whole Church. There is still the tendency for the Priests to become threatened by assignments or transfers, and they can become individualistic, self-interested, self-absorbed when the time comes for changes.
What is needed is to create an atmosphere of collaborative ministry. Clergy changes can create opportunities for all parties involved to strengthen the communion they have with each other, to ask questions about the common mission, the charisms needed, and how everyone can work together. The Bishop through dialogue and discernment attempts to seek if the changes are for the betterment of the community as a whole. This he does as the one whose responsibility it is to "order" the charisms of the local Churches.
In the context of the proper ordering of charisms, a word about Clericalism and Ambition may be useful. Clericalism can affect the Bishops as well as the Priests. Alexander Schemen in his Journal says "Clericalism suffocates: it makes part of itself into the whole sacred character of the Church; it makes its power to control, to lead, to administer; a power to perform Sacraments, and in general, it mistakes any power a "power given to me". Clericalism is always Dysfunctional and Haughty, crippling the spiritual and emotional maturity of the Priest, Bishop or Deacon in its web. The laity instinctively resists the Patronizing and Domineering tendencies in Priests or Bishops who have succumbed to clericalism. The authoritarian Priest tends to be always angry and frustrated. Clericalism blocks honest human communication and ultimately leaves the cleric isolated.
A Priest-psychologist made this remark: "Ambition is as much a fundamental human instinct as sexuality". The institutional rewards, with their trappings and power are pursued in our present set-up. In the feudal, clerical culture in which many Priests still live and move and work, the approving nod of the Bishop, his warm glance are much sought after. While the Bishop is duty bound to encourage, approve and commend the good work of a Priest, if the Priest is yearning only for human approval for the sake of "upward mobility", it could impede the growth of his real worth.
The Bishop is the first servant and builder of communion in the Diocese. In fact between the Bishop and his Priests there exists a "communio sacramentalis", which is based on the participation in the one Priesthood of Christ, though in a different degree, in virtue of the one ordained ministry and one apostolic mission.
We all know of Priests who due to some reason or other, real or imaginary, who alienate themselves from the Bishop and scandalize the faithful by refusing, even to mention the name of the local ordinary in the Eucharistic prayer!!! Often the Bishop himself might have to bear part of the responsibility for such situations, for lack of dialogue or error in discerning the charisms.
The primary identity of the Priest is to stand in Persona Christi and in Persona Ecclesiae. The identity of the Priest takes shape in the unique relationship he has with the Bishop of the local Church. The linkage, in the Spirit, is through the Diocesan Bishop - not in the management model of the world in which the Bishop serves as (CEO) Chief Executive Officer. The Priest ministers with and under the Bishop, in an atmosphere of consultation and collaboration.
The Presbyterium is not merely a "fraternity" of Priests. A fraternity exists to be of support to the members, whether socially, spiritually or by virtue of shared interests. This is important. But the Presbyterium exists primarily for another reason. Together, all the Priests of a Diocese share in the responsibility for the local Church and its Mission - and they share in it with the Diocesan Bishop. Therefore, the members of the Presbyterium are obliged to foster a deeply fraternal relationship with each other with the common objective of advancing the mission of a local Church.
Care and support of each other, cooperation and collaboration, are needed to carry out their leadership role in the Church, with and under the Diocesan Bishop. It must be clear that the Presbyterium exists for the sake of the Church, and not for itself. Therefore, self-serving conduct such as destructive behavior and speech, malicious gossip, ambitions, deceptions, financial mismanagement, pedophilia and other sexual transgressions sap the energy from the mission and consequently tear at the relationships created in service to that mission. This leaves a diocese demoralized and ineffective in its ministry.
This is where the tire hits the road. He has to manage a network of relationships in all its complexity, including his personal relationships. All other relationships will depend on how he trains himself to handle the personal ones.
Just as the identity of the Diocesan Priest can not be isolated from a relationship with the Diocesan Bishop, his identity is also connected to the people of God in the local Church. The role of the Priest, as we saw earlier, is to be a member of the Church, to stand in its midst, as well as to stand in front of it as its servant-leader under the Bishop. The Priest and Bishop together are about ordering right relationship that will carry forward the Mission and go beyond personality, management dynamics or other considerations.
Andrew Greeley makes a distinction between "an Instrumental Leader" and an "Expressive Leader".
"Instrumental Leader gets things done, organizing, administering, fulfilling tasks. He is a doer, a planner, a decision maker".
"Expressive Leader is more concerned with the overall picture and with the people he leads. He makes sure that the vision of the community is clear and that the morale of the members is high. He soothes hurt feelings, reassures the troubled, encourages the weary, makes peace between the angry and inspires the discouraged."
But the sense of connectedness we get from a predominantly institutionalized model can fade away, for some faster than for others. Thus, some Priests can begin to feel insufficiently taken care of and protected. They are less sure of the roles they fill and can begin to feel no longer as much a part of the Diocese or even the Presbyterium.
With the passing of time, the Priest can and does begin to yearn for a "more personalized" model of connectedness where safety and security comes from a sense of being appreciated and cared for. However, despite the yearning for this "personalized" connected-ness, many Priests do not posses the skills needed to make the transition.
In this context Clark (1986) says, "I don't suspect that the Diocesan Priesthood can exist totally as an institutionalized entity. Nor do I look forward to the day when our whole sense of connectedness is exclusively personalized"; he says that would take too much energy to sustain. However, he claims that "we need a balance, but today the balance needs to be tipped in favor of a more personal approach."
It is here that we really begin to delve into the numerous relationship issues and problems that a Priest has to face. From the womb of our mothers we carry with us the instinct to be connected and to establish relationships with others.
Father Clark, in his book on Being sexual and celibate, gives some very valuable and profound insights. Father Clark says, "My need and my awakened capacities for connecting with other human beings are meant to develop to the point of human maturity where intimacy with other human beings becomes possible. The urge, the drive, the need to connect with other human beings are all part of my being sexual. It allows me to connect with other human beings in relationships that are beyond the functional. But my urges, drives and the needs do not of themselves assure that I will attain the personal connectedness for which they are given. I need to learn and then choose behavior which will allow the connectedness to occur." (Clark, 1986)
Today's literature on "Human development" is rampant with the need for psycho-sexual development through capacity for intimacy in human friendships.
Intimacy is an important concept in relationship to human development. The moment "Intimacy" is mentioned we tend to become very uneasy even though we are well aware that there are great mystics and Saints who were not afraid of such intimacy, e.g. Saints Francis of Assisi and Clare, Saints Theresa of Avila and John of the Cross.
Our uneasiness stems from the fact that the word "intimacy" is commonly taken to mean physical intimacy or sexual intimacy or even genital intimacy. Whereas the word used in our context is taken more in a psychological sense.
Intimacy has to do with disclosure. Disclosure is the willingness and ability to reveal personal matters to another, giving the other to have knowledge of himself, more than the external you. This goes beyond the knowledge that you get from your role playing.
The need for intimacy in the wholesome development of the person is emphasized by psychologists today. Wilkie Au and Noreen Cannon say, "Intimacy is the hallmark of the Christian life ... As Christians we are called to experience ourselves as the beloved of God and to embrace others just as we have ourselves been so intimately embraced by God. We meet and reveal God who is love only through one another."
Erickson says, "Intimacy involves a cluster of personal strength that supports our effort to draw close to one another, the capacity to commit oneself to particular individuals in relationships that last over time and to meet accompanying demands for change in a way that do not compromise one's personal integrity." We forget that a celibate person is a sexual person with real intimacy needs which must be met in an appropriate and fulfilling way. This can happen only when a person has developed the affective and relational aspect of what it means to be a sexual being.
The same is affirmed in Papal and other Church documents. In the Apostolic Exhortation Pastores Dabo Vobis, Pope John Paul of revered memory says that, "the whole work of Priestly formation would be deprived of its necessary foundation if it lacked a suitable human formation."
Human formation is described as the "necessary formation" upon which all other aspects of Priestly formation depend. "This is truly fundamental for a person who is called to be responsible for a community and to be 'a man of communion'." (PDV, no: 44)
In official Church documents this issue is now being addressed under the title of Human development in Priestly formation. It is the development of the affective and relational aspects of future Priests. In other words human development is to work towards the physical and psychological development in the context of the spiritual development. We know that grace builds on nature.
Pastores Dabo Vobis (Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation of 1990) enumerates the qualities a Priest should have:
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a. the capacity to relate to others so that the Priest becomes a man of communion. |
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b. affective maturity which presupposes in the Priest's awareness that love has a central role in human life, which in turn requires.(c) |
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c. a clear and strong training in responsible freedom which is intimately connected with |
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d. education of the moral conscience (PDV Nos: 44-43) |
In the background of the serious sexual scandals in the West and not uncommonly surfacing in our own situations in Asia, this issue of training and formation in affective and emotional maturity has to be addressed by us with a sense of urgency.
The US bishops, in their program of Priestly Formation (Fifth Edition 2006, No. 77), speak at great length on this vital dimension. (Quote: pg. 4, 77-80 inclusive, also 90-92).
"Human formation comes together in a particular way in the domain of human sexuality, and this is especially true for those who are preparing for a life of celibacy. The various dimensions of being a human person - the physical, the psychological, and the spiritual - converge in affective maturity, which includes human sexuality."
"Since the charism of celibacy, even when it is genuine and has proved itself, leaves man's affections and his instinctive impulses intact, candidates to the priesthood need an affective maturity which is prudent, able to renounce anything that is a threat to it, vigilant over both body and spirit, and capable of esteem and respect in interpersonal relationships between men and women." (PDV, no. 44)
"The means to live celibate chastity well, which include genuine friendships; priestly fraternity; a mentoring relationship, spiritual direction; priestly asceticism, which honestly reckons with the sacrifices that celibacy entails; and, especially, the Sacrament of Penance.
In general, human formation happens in a three-fold process of self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and self-gift - and all of this in faith. As this process unfolds, the human person becomes more perfectly conformed to the perfect humanity of Jesus Christ, the Word made flesh."
Such growth may be demonstrated by sound prudential judgement; sense of responsibility and personal initiative; a capacity for courageous and decisive leadership; an ability to establish and maintain wholesome friendship; and an ability to work in a collaborative, professional manner with women and men, foregoing self-interests in favor of a cooperative effort for the common good.
Preparation for celibacy is one of the primary aims of the human formation program of any seminary. The seminary must have a coordinated and multifaceted program of instruction, prayerful discernment, dialogue, and encouragement that will aid seminarians to understand the nature and purpose of celibate chastity and to embrace it wholeheartedly in their lives. Sexuality finds its authentic meaning in relation to mature love. Seminarians should understand and manifest a mature love as preparation for a celibate life. In doing so, the insights of modern psychology can be of considerable help.
The goal of psychosexual, social, and spiritual development should be to form seminarians into chaste, celibate men who are loving pastors of the people they serve."(US Bishops: in Program of Priestly Formation, 5th Edition-2006, Nos: 77, 78, 90-92)
Human formation for celibacy should aim toward an affective maturity, which is the ability to live a true and responsible love. Signs of affective maturity in the candidate are prudence, vigilance over body and spirit, compassion and care for others, ability to express and acknowledge emotions, and a capacity to esteem and respect interpersonal relationships between men and women. Therefore, true friendship is an education in affective maturity.
Many of the personal problems of Priests such as loneliness, inability to cope with solitude, alcoholism, sexual abuse of minors, are related to a lack of affective maturity. The underlying problems point out to deficiencies in formation where repression was the path of escape. Repression as psychologists tell us is a very dangerous unconscious process whereby there is denial of obvious realities leading to fixation that retards growth. Consequently a host of problems arise in later life when those repressed feelings surface in unacceptable ways.
Therefore, it becomes clear that what is wrong is not celibacy but celibate people who have not been formed to face the challenges that confront them. Celibacy is a unique way of loving. Sexuality is a God-given gift to enable us to enter into wholesome and enriching relationships in our ministry. The biological sexual urges and bio-psychosexual drives must be understood in their true God-given meaning.
A sign that I am denying my sexual urges and drives (and perhaps neglecting my need for intimacy) is rationalizing romantic or genital behavior which is incompatible with who I am and with what commitments I have made or I have not made (in the case of single people). I need to direct those impulses with my insight and freedom if the relationships are going to be compatible with who I am or with who the others are.
(Accompanying photos available at here)
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